If you aspire to be mentally strong, avoid acts and behaviors that are counterproductive and unhealthy. It’s not enough to practice good habits. You have to break bad ones. A psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, Amy Morin, made a list of 13 things
mentally strong people don’t do. It’s a great list and if you want to make headway in your life, check each item out. One of these might be holding you back.
So, here are what mentally tough people avoid doing.
- Waste time wallowing in self-pity
Feeling sorry for your misfortunes and troubles, according to Dale Carnegie, is the worst habit you could possibly have. If you’re in a bad situation, use the time to find ways to get out of it. In short, focus on solutions and not on problems.
- Give away their power
This is about letting others or circumstances determine your general well-being. Daily, you meet people and experience situations that can get on your nerves. The question is – would you let them? Mentally tough people brush these off by taking control of their emotions, thoughts, and actions.
- Stay away from change
According to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, the only constant is change. People are afraid of change because their comfort zone is threatened. It is a step into the unknown. But, it can also mean better things to come.
- Waste energy on things they can’t control
If the price of oil is going up next week, you can’t do anything about it unless you have a direct influence on it. It’s the same with people. You can influence or try to change them. But you can’t control them. So, forget about worrying about things beyond your control.
- Worry about pleasing everyone
“If you try to please everyone, you please no one” – Aesop. May we add to that – “including yourself.” Remain authentic and honest. Accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you or what you do. The person you should first think of pleasing is you.
- Fear taking risks
It’s not taking risks by itself that people fear. But, it’s the fear of rejection and failure. “Playing it safe” is not a quality of a mentally tough person. They know that to move forward, they have to take risks and are okay with it.
- Dwell on the past
Learn from mistakes and don’t let regret overwhelm you. Don’t rest on your laurels, but let past achievements serve as inspiration. Don’t hold grudges even when people you live or work with are unremorseful.
- Repeat mistakes
It isn’t enough that we take responsibility for our mistakes. Studies have shown that we don’t really exert the effort to learn the lessons of our past errors. Rather than dwell on them, determine what habits or patterns of behavior lead us to commit them.
- Resent other people’s success
When others succeed, mentally tough persons are among the first to offer their congratulations. They don’t feel they are the only ones that are deserving and envious when people get ahead of them.
- Give up after failure
Failure is not an option for any worthwhile endeavor. Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before he finally got the light bulb right. Determined and persistent are the qualities of the mentally strong.
- Fear “alone time”
How much time do you spend in solitude? Being alone is not something we should avoid. It’s the quiet moments that refreshes and keeps us on track. It’s also the time we can take stock of what matters most.
- Feel the world owes them something
We’re prone to believe we deserve more than what we receive when we work hard. Mentally strong people never feel entitled. Instead, they think of how they can make people’s lives better.
- Expect immediate results
Great things don’t happen overnight and real success takes time. Mentally tough people are patient and know that they are on a journey and not a short trek.
Hopefully, this list helps you out. Avoid each and you’ll weather all trials you’ll face in life.