Emotional Intelligence Archives - Page 4 of 16

Why You Should Give Meditation a Second Look

Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness / My Holland

It doesn’t sound like fun for many people. Nor is it the kind of relaxing activity we might indulge in. Maybe, images of people in a lotus position practicing an Indian or Buddhist discipline came to mind when you saw this article’s title. You might be thinking of Yoga, which is not the same as meditation. However, the latter is part of the former. According to Wikipedia, meditation is: “…a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.” So, what’s the big deal about mediation? Benefits of Meditation According to research by neuroscientist Sara Lazar, people who practiced mindfulness meditation had more grey matter in their brains’ frontal cortex. This is responsible for decision-making, personality expression, and controlling social behavior. The frontal cortex also mobilizes thoughts and actions in goal pursuits. In another study by the Dept. of Neurology of UCLA, meditation helps protect the brain from aging. So now we have two independent researchers arriving at almost the same conclusion. However, scientists believe more studies have to be made. You’d agree it’s something to think about. I’ve been spending an hour each day solving puzzles since it’s been said that this exercises the left and right sides of our brains. But it seems that we can do more to improve our minds and general well-being. For now, let’s focus on one type – mindfulness meditation. Here are its benefits you may not be aware of. Meditation decreases activity in the area of the brain responsible for mind-wandering. This is according to a study at Yale University. A wandering mind is often an unhappy mind. Meditation increases focus on the here and now. Meditation is as good as antidepressants, according to Madhav Goyal of Johns Hopkins. It’s not a cure for depression, but it can help people cope with symptoms. A few minutes of meditation each day can reduce anxiety and relieve stress. Meditation improves memory. People who meditate are less impulsive and are more in control of their emotions. This leads to healthier personal and professional relationships. Meditation can lower blood pressure. Types of Meditation There are other kinds of meditation aside from mindfulness. We’ll just briefly go over each and maybe you’ll be interested in one should you give meditation a try. Spiritual. Connect through prayer and in silence with your God or whatever you call a higher being or power. With Religions like Hinduism and Christianity, essential oils are burned as incense. Zen Meditation. This is part of Buddhism, but the movies associate it with martial arts. Shaolin monks fighting evil is a common theme. This type can be considered spiritual too. One of the aims of Zen meditation is to experience an awakening of the mind. Body Scan. The main focus of this type is our physical bodies. The aim is to relax every part from head to toe to relieve tension. This could be done while sitting in a quiet and comfortable room. Mantra Meditation. This is another type popularized by movies or television. Monks in a mountain monastery chanting “Om” is a familiar scene depicted in many films. Chants may differ, but the goal is to be one with your environment. Compassion Meditation. It’s also known as loving-kindness. Sensing and sending love while in meditation is this type’s goal. Practitioners learn to love themselves and everyone. Transcendental Meditation. Commonly associated with out-of-body experiences, the aim is to rise above one’s being. It can also be spiritual and a mantra can be chanted. Meditation is not for everyone. But, think of the benefits. Thankfully, there are several videos of short meditation exercises on YouTube. You should give it a try just to satisfy your curiosity. Who knows, it might work for you.

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Your Career Can Affect your Children

Compassion, Emotional Intelligence / My Holland

Undoubtedly, the career choices we make will affect our families. Now, because both parents are at work, children are either at school or in the care of babysitters. How has their development been affected? It’s a good question. You might be surprised to learn that most kids with working dads and moms turn out to be okay. According to this study, it doesn’t matter if mothers work during a child’s early years. As long as parents prioritize family over their jobs, it’s unlikely kids would exhibit behavioral problems. When dads and moms share responsibility in parenthood, the effects are positive. The research showed that their children, in fact, were emotionally healthy. No organization we know of requires employees to continue working after leaving the office or clocking out. But, the digital age has enabled parents to conveniently attend to work-related tasks from home. It’s their choice if they do so, by the way. When they do, they might be causing harm to their kids. “There are bills to pay and mouths to feed.” This has been the justification of breadwinners when they put career over their family. In fact, many will say they’ve given up their passion for jobs that paid well. Unhappy and stressed-out, they’re giving their kids the impression that money takes precedence over everything. Children see their parents as role models. Young minds are like sponges that absorb everything. A father’s psychological or emotional absence has a strong effect on children. This lack of engagement directly influences a child’s behavior. On the other hand, children are barely affected when mothers spend time on themselves and less on house chores. When housework is shared with partners, mothers have more significant time for their kids. The current pandemic has imposed changes in everybody’s lives. More people are working from home, which will be the norm even after a cure is found. The benefits for both employers and employees cannot be ignored. Just think of the savings from leasing less space and travel time saved. For parents, more quality time can be spent with their kids. So, how can mom and dad balance work and home life? Here are a few suggestions. Prepare any meal during the day. Eat at least one meal with the whole family. Never talk about work while eating. Instead, talk to the kids. Set aside time to speak individually with each child. Breaks when working remotely can be used to spend time with children. Read them a story, have fun with a coloring book or play catch. Turn off all gadgets, including the TV and PC. Always have a family day. Make it up with your child if you miss something important, like a game or a play. Never forget to say “I love you” to each member of your family. Having less time at home means using it wisely. The first step is to transition from a professional to a parent once we enter the door. It should be a conscious effort. Nurturing children doesn’t mean sacrificing one’s dreams. In fact, people with happy family lives are often successful in their careers. We may reach the top position in any organization, but there is always one constant – the family. Here’s an interesting article you should read. It’s a reminder of what really matters. You can achieve as much as you want in your career. Just don’t forget the kids.

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A Bit of Worry is Good

Awareness, Emotional Intelligence / My Holland

There so much to be anxious about nowadays. According to the World Bank, the world is in a recession and COVID-19 is not only keeping a lot of people in poverty but creating a new class of poor. The adverse economic effects may already be affecting you. Stuff you weren’t worried about a year ago might be taking center stage in your life now. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” is a Grammy Award-winning song by Bobby McFerrin. What would you think if you were told you can worry and be happy? You’d be skeptical, but honestly, this can be true for anybody. So, how about you turn the tables on anxiety? All you need to do is modify your thoughts and practice emotional intelligence. The causes and effects of worry There are medical conditions that give rise to anxiety. It’s not limited to the mind. A doctor may prescribe treatment that includes medication. On the other hand, external factors can cause anxiety. Stress at work, uncertainty, financial difficulties and relationships are examples. If left unchecked, these can dictate how you live your life. Sleepless nights, lack of focus, compulsiveness, nervousness, headaches and stomach pains are signs of an anxious person. In extreme cases, too much worry can become paralyzing. But, as you already know, inaction or reacting poorly to a situation often results from the mishandling of anxiety. How you deal with anxiety matters People cope with worries differently. Emotionally intelligent persons recognize the signs when they become anxious. They do not ignore their emotions but rather take stock of what they are feeling. Understanding leads to proper management of their worries. Here’s how they respond to anxiety. Anxiety as a Warning People have a built-in warning system primarily for survival. This can be traced back all the way to early humans. People with high EQ recognize that their anxiety might be telling them to exercise caution. Also, it might be alerting them to entirely avoid an act or a situation. How many times have you stopped yourself from entering a dark alley or an unknown environment because you started feeling apprehensive? Anxiety as Motivation Everyone worries about their health, especially during this pandemic. Emotionally intelligent people use anxiety as motivation. As a result, they exercise, observe health protocols and watch closely what they eat. They also motivate others to do the same.A survey of Asian-Pacific countries, published in May 2020, showed that most Vietnamese became more apprehensive because of the current pandemic. On the surface, this looked bad. But, the total COVID-19 cases in that nation were among the lowest in the region. In fact, Vietnam, which shares a long border with China, ranked 165th globally in case counts. It’s not a stretch to speculate that extreme worry played a role in driving the Vietnamese to act quickly and take drastic measures to contain the virus. A BBC article even stated that Vietnam’s overreaction saved the country from a full-blown outbreak. Anxiety encourages preparation Have you experienced stress before a meeting or an interview? Did it occur to you that you were worried because you were not fully prepared? When anxious, people with high EQ diligently prepare for any activity that has significance to their professional or personal lives. They don’t leave anything to chance.Conversely, in the event things don’t go their way, they are prepared for the worst. They accept failure and learn from it. It may even make them more anxious to do better in the future instead of wallowing in misery. Happy and successful people live with anxiety every day. But, they never let it control their lives. Don’t deny or ignore worry the next time you experience it. Instead, master and seek the good from it.

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People with High EQ Read Nonverbal Cues Better

Emotional Intelligence / My Holland

Emotionally intelligent people are aware of the feelings of others because they practice empathy. They are also experts in picking up nonverbal cues. These include gestures, facial expressions and eye movements. Many assert that 65% of our communication is nonverbal. It’s not a hard and fast rule. There’s no denying we still need words to communicate. Body language support or contradict what we say or feel. People with high EQ quickly read but don’t rely on these alone to understand others. So what are these nonverbal cues emotionally intelligent persons perceive? Here are some common ones we see every day. The Eyes Say a Lot Paulo Coelho wrote, “The eyes are the mirror of the soul.” A real smile usually causes crow’s feet around the eyes. Also, eyes tend to close with genuine smiles. If someone is honest and sincere, they look you in the eyes. It’s also a sign of confidence. Conversely, shifty eyes tell a different story. But, expert liars intentionally hold eye contact to cover up their deceit. You’ve seen or heard of a cold stare. It often means a person is disinterested or maybe contemptuous. A blank stare could mean the person doesn’t understand or has lost interest in what you’re saying. Eye-rolling is a reaction to a disagreeable word or action. Glare or pain can cause a squint or narrowing of the eyes. So, don’t immediately assume a person you’re conversing with is expressing anger or contempt. There’s more but let me just caution you not to judge others solely based on their facial expressions. Listen to what they say and observe their overall body language. Proximity Let’s look back at our pre-pandemic times. A person who remains distant while you’re talking can be guarded or wary. Or, it might just be a personal space issue. Unless the person speaks, it’s hard to tell. But, it’s wise if you take note. An individual’s personal space varies from person to person. According to this, it’s between 1.5 to 4 feet. It would be wise if you always were sensitive to your audiences’ space. Your message is lost if they’re uncomfortable when you’re too near them. On the other hand, it’s apparent people are comfortable when they sit or stand close to you. They become more engaged and receptive to your message. However, with the pandemic, we are obligated to observe social distancing. Virtual meetings are now the norm. But still, we can’t avoid in-person interactions. The Arms, Legs, and Body People fold their arms across their bodies when they’re cautious or defensive. The same is true when legs are crossed. When they turn their body away from you, it’s often a negative sign. However, when people exhibit these, it may have nothing to do with you at all. Conversely, receptive people lean towards you. Arms and legs are relaxed. Sometimes, they mimic your body language. Their handshakes are firm, enhanced with genuine smiles. A high EQ is necessary to understand the emotions behind words and nonverbal cues. Most of the time, both complement each other. Having said this, it’s always wise to listen with your ears and eyes. It’s a holistic approach. Also, it’s why emotionally intelligent people communicate well.

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Happiness and Engagement at the Workplace

Emotional Intelligence, Happiness at Work / My Holland

There’s a healthy discussion between proponents of employee engagement and advocates of employee happiness. Companies are looking inward while trying to determine which of these should be prioritized. You might find the answer below. We agree with most that both employee happiness and engagement are different. It’s a mistake to believe that they are one and the same. Do they affect productivity? Can one exist without the other? These are just a couple of the many questions organizations are taking seriously. When we searched for the definition of employee engagement, the top result is this – the extent to which employees feel passionate about their jobs, are committed to the organization and put discretionary effort into their work. We searched for employee happiness but didn’t find one definition we were comfortable with. So, we had to ask ourselves how we would define a happy employee. We settled on one meaning with help from Oxford’s English Dictionary’s definition of “happy.” For us, employee happiness is the state of pleasure or contentment felt by individuals at the workplace. In other words, we feel happy at work if we feel good about our jobs. The question is whether we are satisfied, happy or elated? Productivity and Employee Engagement According to a Gallup Organization study, companies that promote engagement experience a 22% increase in productivity. These organizations suffer less absenteeism and turnover. Highly engaged employees have a better understanding of their role and how their work affects the overall picture. Also, they care more for their organization and colleagues. Communication is the key to improving employee engagement which, by the way, isn’t achieved with memos, e-mails, and newsletters alone. Although these can help, leaders and supervisors need to talk to their subordinates more often. Verbal communication is more effective in sharing goals, concerns, and decisions. Feedback is instant and employees are more inclined to participate in a discussion. It doesn’t have to be in a formal setting. Leaders have been known to discuss ideas with employees at more relaxed venues like bars and restaurants. Happiness at Work Winning the lottery will make you exultant despite having to report to a boss you can’t stand. This doesn’t exactly make you happy at work. It’s the workplace conditions, including benefits and compensation, which will determine the degree of employee happiness. Our personal lives have no real bearing on our satisfaction at work. On the other hand, unhappiness at the workplace can drive us to look for jobs elsewhere.

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Emotional Intelligence

Why You Should Give Meditation a Second Look

Your Career Can Affect your Children

A Bit of Worry is Good

People with High EQ Read Nonverbal Cues Better

Happiness and Engagement at the Workplace

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