My Holland

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in Shame.” It was Benjamin Franklin who said this. The wise man that he was, he knew, no doubt, that emotions shape not only our thoughts and behavior but our lives as well. “A calm mind leads directly to peace of mind.” It was Dalai Lama who said this. Wise as well, this world-famous Buddhist guru recommends we use logic and valid reasoning to create a frame of mind that will overcome destructive emotions. Through reasoning, love needs to be cultivated as an antidote to anger. The Dalai Lama continues to say that at one time in the past, compassion was seen as a sign of weakness, and anger was a sign of power and strength. He believes basic human nature is more compassionate and that this is the real basis of our hope. To have some sort of a road map for our emotions to develop a calm mind, the Dalai Lama had asked the well-known and highly respected emotion scientist, Dr. Paul Ekman to help create this guide to inner peace but that religion should be kept away from it. Some of the more relevant truths that came out of this unselfish efforts are: Emotions are instant responses of the brain. We don’t choose them. They simply happen to us with no exceptions. They are universal. They happen to all of us. What’s more, the facial signals that come with these emotions are the same in all cultures. We all experience the five basic emotions: anger, hatred, disgust, fear, and happiness. The factors and elements that trigger these emotions are universal as well. When are emotions destructive? Experts agree that all emotions are natural. They’re pretty normal and for the most part, are alright. They become destructive though when they are expressed inappropriately. In other words, it’s ok to be sad when a dear one passes away. But when this sadness turns into depression, it is inappropriate. Destructive emotions make the situation worse. They create long term harm. We see this in people who suffer from endless cynicism and keen hostility. This is a pattern that comes with fierce anger and frequent thoughts that people cannot be trusted. Chances are, these people who have acquired cynical hostility are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular diseases and die at a younger age. To overcome destructive emotions, learn to build constructive emotions – Going through anger and hatred? Develop compassion. Try Love and patience. Destructive emotions occur on impulse. Usually, they’re founded on illogical reasoning and misconceptions. On the other hand, constructive emotions are practical and realistic. They’re based on valid observations and logical reasoning. What results from constructive emotions? A calm mind. We begin to see and experience life more realistically. And what kills a calm mind? Hatred, anger, greed, fear, suspicions and too much ambition. As a final call to adhere and develop constructive emotions, remember what the Dalai Lama says … Just as we learn about physical hygiene in the interest of good health, we now need to learn about emotional hygiene to achieve inner peace.