My Holland, Author at EQuest Asia

Signs That Say You Lack Self-Awareness

Emotional Intelligence / My Holland / Self-Awareness

It’s a fact. The one competency you will find in most great leaders and achievers is a strong self awareness. It’s a quality that enables them to know their strength and weaknesses which then allows them to change their behavior in a truly positive way. It helps a person to enhance his/her thinking and reasoning, and generally leads to a significant improvement of one’s interpersonal skills. Self awareness helps to bring out the best in people. It’s no small wonder that companies’ recruitment teams during job interviews try to draw this out from applicants. So, how do you get to know if you’ve got a great level of self awareness? Here are four warning signs that say you might need some help: You’re always on the defensive. You may have gotten some good, constructive and objective feedback that didn’t support your decision or action, but instead of calmly listening, you jump into a defensive stance. You find fault in every minor thing. In other words, you tend to see people doing things differently from the way you do things as being at fault and immediately take over whatever it is that’s supposed to be done. Behind the scenes though, you just might be failing with the bigger things. Not paying attention to these larger issues could spin off to even bigger, more critical problems. You tend to make excuses. When all you’ve got for a failed project or missed deadline are excuses and alibis, you would, in your mind be convinced that you’re right and that you’ve got a good reason for it. You’d tend to be amazed at why everybody else doesn’t agree with you. When you’re caught in this trap, you miss out on opportunities to look at other options that may have a greater and better impact on all people concerned. You don’t know why people think you bully your way around. You’ve just recently realized that behind your back, people around the office have been calling you a bully for some time. And the thing is … you’re clueless as to what makes them think of you as this “Mafia henchman.” Anyway, get it through your head, accept it … that you’re not perfect and that you’ve got some character flaws. Once you accept this and get off that ivory horse, you just might behave with a little bit more empathy, respect and humility. If you see yourself in two or more of these situations, you will need to over-haul your level of self awareness. You’ll need to work on this starting today. Once it goes up, it’ll help you to make better judgment and enable you to react to events with more control and flexibility.

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What we learned about ourselves in 2020? 2021 The year of the Buffalo

Emotional Intelligence, Positivity / My Holland

Much can be said about 2020. There’s one thing I suggest you do. Remember the last 12 months because it was a year of revelations. I’m sure you discovered a lot about yourself and the people around you. So, here are a few of the lessons I learned last year. I hope these will guide you as you chart your course for the years to come. We’re more resilient than we thought we were. Worldwide, millions of people sick with the virus struggled alone as their families could not be with them. Most survived, but many did not return home. Covid-19 continues to be with us and many are still sick with it. It’s part of our world now. Businesses closed and millions lost their jobs. Work hours were shortened and wages were cut. Money became tight and in some parts of the world, people missed meals. I could go on further but, I know you get my point. Last year was hard for everyone. I don’t know what challenges you faced in 2020. Maybe you even felt helpless and depressed. But, I bet you never knew you were more resilient than you thought you were. You’ve weathered the storm and came out stronger. We got to focus on what’s important in our lives. I knew what I had to do once the lockdown was over. I had my priorities straight. You’re mistaken if you think I went out and splurged on stuff or partied with friends. I bought what I only needed and opened a new investment account. Covid-19 also reminded me family is always important. As for friends, I now know who the real ones are. Also, we got to appreciate the little things that we took for granted. If you haven’t, take an inventory. You’ll find out you have a lot to be thankful for. We became more creative. I believe that adversity is the mother of creativity. We discovered ways to liven up our homes while working remotely. Also, we found alternative uses of products to save money. Many who lost jobs became successful by starting small businesses. I don’t think they’ll return to their old jobs. Companies thought outside of the box and pivoted to remain afloat. Check out Shine Distillery & Grill. Limited to take-out orders only, it turned its distillery into a hand-sanitizer manufacturing plant. It’s now one of their bestsellers. It pays to have emotional intelligence. People were angry everywhere because they felt helpless. With emotional intelligence, I was aware of my own frustrations. But, I didn’t let these control me. When I realized that most of what upset me was beyond my control, I was more at peace. I could also sense what others were feeling. Instead of reacting, I strived to understand them. I took time to listen to them with my ears and eyes. Trust me, when you let people talk about their problems, it’s therapeutic. So, what have you learned from 2020? I’m sure you can add more. Don’t forget those lessons. You’ll need these if you want to grow more in 2021.

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Beat Anxiety with Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence, Wellbeing / My Holland

Anxiety is a feeling of fear of what is about to happen. An upcoming job evaluation, a first date, a presentation or an examination can cause apprehension. The good news – it’s a secondary emotion easily mastered. It’s normal to feel anxiety. Successful people aren’t immune to it. Some would even say it is essential to our personal growth. Feelings of fear only become a concern when these persist and interfere with our regular routine. So how do people with high emotional intelligence deal with anxiety? We’ll let you in on a few tips which you can apply in any stressful situation. Watch Out for Signs When we are anxious, we don’t exhibit the same signs. It’s different for each person. Here are some: Rapid Heart Rate Shallow Breathing Feelings of Dread Nervousness You feel a knot in your stomach Sweating Restlessness Nail-biting So, which of the above applies to you? We sometimes aren’t aware these are happening when we’re anxious. The next time you are apprehensive, take note if you’re experiencing any of these signs. Take Deep Breaths Yes, it works! Calm yourself down. Taking deep breaths for a few seconds works for some. For others, a full minute or more is better. What this does is slow your heart rate and relax your muscles. It also helps you think more clearly. Find Out Why You’re Anxious We’re so involved with many things each day we can lose sight of what we are apprehensive about. The cause could be buried beneath minor stressors that pile up. For instance, people go to work with high-stress levels because of the many things they have to accomplish. It’s not that they are unhappy with their job. It’s just they dislike specific tasks like making a presentation.

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My Holland

Signs That Say You Lack Self-Awareness

What we learned about ourselves in 2020? 2021 The year of the Buffalo

Beat Anxiety with Emotional Intelligence

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