My Holland, Author at EQuest Asia

People with High EQ Read Nonverbal Cues Better

Emotionally intelligent people are aware of the feelings of others because they practice empathy. They are also experts in picking up nonverbal cues. These include gestures, facial expressions and eye movements. Many assert that 65% of our communication is nonverbal. It’s not a hard and fast rule. There’s no denying we still need words to communicate. Body language support or contradict what we say or feel. People with high EQ quickly read but don’t rely on these alone to understand others. So what are these nonverbal cues emotionally intelligent persons perceive? Here are some common ones we see every day. The Eyes Say a Lot Paulo Coelho wrote, “The eyes are the mirror of the soul.” A real smile usually causes crow’s feet around the eyes. Also, eyes tend to close with genuine smiles. If someone is honest and sincere, they look you in the eyes. It’s also a sign of confidence. Conversely, shifty eyes tell a different story. But, expert liars intentionally hold eye contact to cover up their deceit. You’ve seen or heard of a cold stare. It often means a person is disinterested or maybe contemptuous. A blank stare could mean the person doesn’t understand or has lost interest in what you’re saying. Eye-rolling is a reaction to a disagreeable word or action. Glare or pain can cause a squint or narrowing of the eyes. So, don’t immediately assume a person you’re conversing with is expressing anger or contempt. There’s more but let me just caution you not to judge others solely based on their facial expressions. Listen to what they say and observe their overall body language. Proximity Let’s look back at our pre-pandemic times. A person who remains distant while you’re talking can be guarded or wary. Or, it might just be a personal space issue. Unless the person speaks, it’s hard to tell. But, it’s wise if you take note. An individual’s personal space varies from person to person. According to this, it’s between 1.5 to 4 feet. It would be wise if you always were sensitive to your audiences’ space. Your message is lost if they’re uncomfortable when you’re too near them. On the other hand, it’s apparent people are comfortable when they sit or stand close to you. They become more engaged and receptive to your message. However, with the pandemic, we are obligated to observe social distancing. Virtual meetings are now the norm. But still, we can’t avoid in-person interactions. The Arms, Legs, and Body People fold their arms across their bodies when they’re cautious or defensive. The same is true when legs are crossed. When they turn their body away from you, it’s often a negative sign. However, when people exhibit these, it may have nothing to do with you at all. Conversely, receptive people lean towards you. Arms and legs are relaxed. Sometimes, they mimic your body language. Their handshakes are firm, enhanced with genuine smiles. A high EQ is necessary to understand the emotions behind words and nonverbal cues. Most of the time, both complement each other. Having said this, it’s always wise to listen with your ears and eyes. It’s a holistic approach. Also, it’s why emotionally intelligent people communicate well.

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Happiness and Engagement at the Workplace

There’s a healthy discussion between proponents of employee engagement and advocates of employee happiness. Companies are looking inward while trying to determine which of these should be prioritized. You might find the answer below. We agree with most that both employee happiness and engagement are different. It’s a mistake to believe that they are one and the same. Do they affect productivity? Can one exist without the other? These are just a couple of the many questions organizations are taking seriously. When we searched for the definition of employee engagement, the top result is this – the extent to which employees feel passionate about their jobs, are committed to the organization and put discretionary effort into their work. We searched for employee happiness but didn’t find one definition we were comfortable with. So, we had to ask ourselves how we would define a happy employee. We settled on one meaning with help from Oxford’s English Dictionary’s definition of “happy.” For us, employee happiness is the state of pleasure or contentment felt by individuals at the workplace. In other words, we feel happy at work if we feel good about our jobs. The question is whether we are satisfied, happy or elated? Productivity and Employee Engagement According to a Gallup Organization study, companies that promote engagement experience a 22% increase in productivity. These organizations suffer less absenteeism and turnover. Highly engaged employees have a better understanding of their role and how their work affects the overall picture. Also, they care more for their organization and colleagues. Communication is the key to improving employee engagement which, by the way, isn’t achieved with memos, e-mails, and newsletters alone. Although these can help, leaders and supervisors need to talk to their subordinates more often. Verbal communication is more effective in sharing goals, concerns, and decisions. Feedback is instant and employees are more inclined to participate in a discussion. It doesn’t have to be in a formal setting. Leaders have been known to discuss ideas with employees at more relaxed venues like bars and restaurants. Happiness at Work Winning the lottery will make you exultant despite having to report to a boss you can’t stand. This doesn’t exactly make you happy at work. It’s the workplace conditions, including benefits and compensation, which will determine the degree of employee happiness. Our personal lives have no real bearing on our satisfaction at work. On the other hand, unhappiness at the workplace can drive us to look for jobs elsewhere.

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Improving Productivity will Help you reach your Full Potential

Mindfulness, Productivity / My Holland

Most of us prepare a to-do list before turning in for the night. We believe that we could become more productive if we identify tasks that need to be done the next day. But, did you know that making a long list could be counter-productive? Experts recommend we should limit list items to three. We’ve always assumed being productive means accomplishing a lot of tasks each day. Maybe this is true at an assembly line. But, productivity isn’t measured in quantifiable terms alone. The quality of our accomplishments will matter even more. Shoddy work doesn’t count when we talk about productivity. How do we then achieve improved productivity? We have a few tried and tested ideas and invite you to consider them. We’re sure you’ve heard of them before, but it doesn’t hurt to remind you. Schedule Time for Chores If you’re among the many who are now working from home, you know that you can’t escape these. Some of us work better in the morning while others prefer afternoons or evenings. Attend to your chores and errands on your least-productive hours. Once these are done, you can focus better on work. Designate Time for Work Now that you have set time for unrelated tasks, you now have the rest of a day available for work. We are our greatest enemy when we postpone, delay or procrastinate. Stick to your schedule. This is easier said than done, especially with all the distractions around us. But, once we develop the necessary routine, we also improve our discipline to follow our schedule. “Time is a currency you can only spend once. So be careful how you spend it.” – Harmon Okinyo Keep Your Goals in Mind What are you doing most of the day and why are you doing it? We should ask this question often so we can remind ourselves what our goals are. When we do, we can better determine which tasks are related or contribute to the achievement of our goals. Focus on Tasks at Hand When working with your pc or laptop, there’s always the temptation to check on your social media, read the news and browse on unrelated subjects. There’s nothing wrong with indulging ourselves for a few minutes. But, we know five minutes could quickly turn into a half-hour or an hour. We may have several tasks to accomplish, but we can only attend to one at a time. Being focused requires willpower to shut out distractions, daydreams and even worries. The latter can cause anxiety, which hampers our productivity. How about rewarding ourselves after finishing a task? Experts believe that this helps and self-rewards improve our self-esteem. So, how about eating your favorite ice cream or five minutes on your FB or IG account once you’re done with a job? Have Enough Energy No matter how motivated we are, we won’t get far if we lack physical strength. This means at least 7 hours of sleep based on scientific research. Ignore those who say we can survive with less. Also, our body requires at least 20 minutes of exercise each day. Stand up and take a five-minute walk every hour if you sit down in front of your PC or laptop all day. It will do us good and new ideas can crop up during short breaks. Of the above, managing our time is the most challenging and yet most important step. It will take time, pardon the pun. But, with trial and discipline, we’ll discover the routine that works best for us.

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Signs That Say You Lack Self-Awareness

Emotional Intelligence / My Holland / Self-Awareness

It’s a fact. The one competency you will find in most great leaders and achievers is a strong self awareness. It’s a quality that enables them to know their strength and weaknesses which then allows them to change their behavior in a truly positive way. It helps a person to enhance his/her thinking and reasoning, and generally leads to a significant improvement of one’s interpersonal skills. Self awareness helps to bring out the best in people. It’s no small wonder that companies’ recruitment teams during job interviews try to draw this out from applicants. So, how do you get to know if you’ve got a great level of self awareness? Here are four warning signs that say you might need some help: You’re always on the defensive. You may have gotten some good, constructive and objective feedback that didn’t support your decision or action, but instead of calmly listening, you jump into a defensive stance. You find fault in every minor thing. In other words, you tend to see people doing things differently from the way you do things as being at fault and immediately take over whatever it is that’s supposed to be done. Behind the scenes though, you just might be failing with the bigger things. Not paying attention to these larger issues could spin off to even bigger, more critical problems. You tend to make excuses. When all you’ve got for a failed project or missed deadline are excuses and alibis, you would, in your mind be convinced that you’re right and that you’ve got a good reason for it. You’d tend to be amazed at why everybody else doesn’t agree with you. When you’re caught in this trap, you miss out on opportunities to look at other options that may have a greater and better impact on all people concerned. You don’t know why people think you bully your way around. You’ve just recently realized that behind your back, people around the office have been calling you a bully for some time. And the thing is … you’re clueless as to what makes them think of you as this “Mafia henchman.” Anyway, get it through your head, accept it … that you’re not perfect and that you’ve got some character flaws. Once you accept this and get off that ivory horse, you just might behave with a little bit more empathy, respect and humility. If you see yourself in two or more of these situations, you will need to over-haul your level of self awareness. You’ll need to work on this starting today. Once it goes up, it’ll help you to make better judgment and enable you to react to events with more control and flexibility.

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What we learned about ourselves in 2020? 2021 The year of the Buffalo

Emotional Intelligence, Positivity / My Holland

Much can be said about 2020. There’s one thing I suggest you do. Remember the last 12 months because it was a year of revelations. I’m sure you discovered a lot about yourself and the people around you. So, here are a few of the lessons I learned last year. I hope these will guide you as you chart your course for the years to come. We’re more resilient than we thought we were. Worldwide, millions of people sick with the virus struggled alone as their families could not be with them. Most survived, but many did not return home. Covid-19 continues to be with us and many are still sick with it. It’s part of our world now. Businesses closed and millions lost their jobs. Work hours were shortened and wages were cut. Money became tight and in some parts of the world, people missed meals. I could go on further but, I know you get my point. Last year was hard for everyone. I don’t know what challenges you faced in 2020. Maybe you even felt helpless and depressed. But, I bet you never knew you were more resilient than you thought you were. You’ve weathered the storm and came out stronger. We got to focus on what’s important in our lives. I knew what I had to do once the lockdown was over. I had my priorities straight. You’re mistaken if you think I went out and splurged on stuff or partied with friends. I bought what I only needed and opened a new investment account. Covid-19 also reminded me family is always important. As for friends, I now know who the real ones are. Also, we got to appreciate the little things that we took for granted. If you haven’t, take an inventory. You’ll find out you have a lot to be thankful for. We became more creative. I believe that adversity is the mother of creativity. We discovered ways to liven up our homes while working remotely. Also, we found alternative uses of products to save money. Many who lost jobs became successful by starting small businesses. I don’t think they’ll return to their old jobs. Companies thought outside of the box and pivoted to remain afloat. Check out Shine Distillery & Grill. Limited to take-out orders only, it turned its distillery into a hand-sanitizer manufacturing plant. It’s now one of their bestsellers. It pays to have emotional intelligence. People were angry everywhere because they felt helpless. With emotional intelligence, I was aware of my own frustrations. But, I didn’t let these control me. When I realized that most of what upset me was beyond my control, I was more at peace. I could also sense what others were feeling. Instead of reacting, I strived to understand them. I took time to listen to them with my ears and eyes. Trust me, when you let people talk about their problems, it’s therapeutic. So, what have you learned from 2020? I’m sure you can add more. Don’t forget those lessons. You’ll need these if you want to grow more in 2021.

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My Holland

People with High EQ Read Nonverbal Cues Better

Happiness and Engagement at the Workplace

Improving Productivity will Help you reach your Full Potential

Signs That Say You Lack Self-Awareness

What we learned about ourselves in 2020? 2021 The year of the Buffalo

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